Misconstrued
by rhrshipper23
Summary: George overhears Ron and Hermione 'behind closed doors'.


George straightened his tie, visually inspecting his work robes in the full length mirror hanging on the wall of his bedroom. Satisfied, he left his room and made his way down the hall to the bathroom. The door was closed and he raised his hand to knock, when a very familiar voice moaned in a very unfamiliar way, from within.

Ron's bedroom door was open and the skirt, blouse and other female accessories set neatly on top of the dresser confirmed George's suspicion.

Hermione had spent the night.

It wasn't as though Hermione never visited. Ever since Ron returned from Auror training, the couple was nearly inseparable_. 'Disgustingly so_,' George thought with a grimace. They'd spend hours holed up in Ron's room in their shared flat above Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, but she never stayed overnight. George assumed that it had to do with the fact that his Mum showed up often, and without notice, to make sure her boys were eating enough and keeping their flat habitable.

A groan, followed by some muffled cursing brought George out of his thoughts. _Brilliant_, he thought excitedly. He reached inside his robe pocket and pulled out an extendable ear. Waving his wand at it, he activated its new audio recording feature and slipped the device under the crack at the bottom of the door.

"Ow, Ron! Be gentle!"

"I'm trying."

"Try harder."

"I thought you said 'gentle'."

"Ron!"

"Sorry."

"Up….left…no your other left…now push…"

"Push? Shouldn't I pull back."

"Just Push!"

"Erm…"

A sigh. "Try rotating a little bit…clockwise…." A moan. "N-Now counterclockwise…"

"Blimey, Hermione I didn't know there was a technique for this sort of thing."

George had to cover his mouth to prevent an undignified snort from bursting forth. '_Didn't that book teach him anything? They've been together for almost a year now. I didn't expect him to still be a complete novice.'_

"Try squeezing it a little. Ow, I said squeeze, not pinch!"

"Merlin's Pants, Hermione, It's your own fault. If you hadn't kicked out like that…"

"For Heaven's sake, I'm stuck and you're laying blame!"

George pulled his head back, confusion evident on his face. '_Stuck?_' he mouthed wordlessly, before leaning toward the extendible ear.

"I know! Try wriggling back and forth."

A moan. "Too tight…I can't move. Either this tub is too short or you're too tall."

"It's not meant for two people."

'_Sure it is,' _George silently disagreed.

"Here, try maneuvering under me. If I'm on top, perhaps I'll be able to go at it from a better angle."

"Only if you want me to drown in the process."

"I won't let you drown. Budge over."

"I can't. Not unless you want me to dislocate my shoulder to do so."

"Fine, then try reaching around and using your finger to slip inside."

"There's not enough room. Maybe we should try a lubrication spell?"

"You can't get more lubrication than being submerged in a tub of soapy water, Ronald."

"Ok, I'm going to try to pull out. Let me know if I hurt you, okay?"

"Ron, stop!"

"Sorry. You're just too wet and slippery. I can't get a good grip."

George's face twisted into a grimace.

"We can't stay here like this."

"I know! Let's try a shrinking spell."

George's eyes widened.

"Are you daft?

"Enlargement, then?"

"Ron!"

"Well I'm all out of bloody ideas, love."

Another sigh. "We'll have to call for help."

George nearly swallowed his tongue. Did they want advice? Or a practical demonstration?

"Help? Are you mad? You want someone to come in and see us tangled up in the tub, starkers?"

"What choice do we have?"

"Severing charm?"

A slap.

"That's not funny."

"Neither is your handprint on my arm."

"Serves you right for suggesting mutilation over pride."

"Hermione, do you really want me to send a Patronus to the Burrow to fetch Mum? My _mum_, Hermione!"

"No, I guess you're right. How about Ginny?"

George couldn't hold back a snicker.

"She's my sister! Harry?"

"No! He won't be able to look at us the same way ever again."

"I know…George!"

George's eyes widened comically.

"I don't know."

"No, it's fine. Really."

"It's _George_, Ron. He'll be off telling everyone before we've had a chance to get dressed. Or worse yet, he'll take photographs and sell them to the Prophet."

'_Hmm, great idea,"_ George thought, grinning devilishly.

"Not unless he wants Mum to know that he and Angelina are dating."

George pulled back, shocked. How had Ron known? He and Angie had been keeping a low profile for the last four months. They hadn't even told Lee Jordan or Verity yet.

"Angelina Johnson?"

"Mhmm… saw them snogging in the back office a few weeks back on my up to the flat. And I've noticed that she's been hanging around the shop more. He could deny it all he wants, but I know that he fancies her."

"Really now? And what makes you such an expert at relationships?"

"I've fancied you for years now, love. I've come to recognize that goofy, lovestruck expression on his face day in and day out."

George rubbed at his face roughly. '_Bollocks! I do not have a goofy expression…the slimy git's making that up.'_

"My skin is starting to wrinkle. We need to get out of here."

"Hold on, let me see if I can reach my wand."

"I love you, Ron, but I'm not letting you touch me with that."

"Trust me, all I have to do it---urk!"

"Sorry! Leg spasm. I didn't mean to knee you."

A pained whimper. "S'okay. I'll live…I think."

"I'm starting to cramp up. Do you think you can try twisting your hips around a bit to let my leg slide around?"

"Well I'm trying to get off here, Hermione. Moving right now is only going to make things worse."

"Fine! Just call your brother in then and let's get it over with."

"No."

"No? What do you mean no? I thought you said—"

"I've changed my mind. I'm not letting my brother see you naked. I'll do it myself."

"But we tried…oh! Keep doing that."

"Like that, eh?"

"Merlin, I think that's working."

"Yeah, I think it is. Relax, love and let me do all the work."

"Oh! Oh, I feel it!" A squeal. "It's coming! Keep going, Ron!"

"Oh yeah…here we go…he we go…almost….so close….come on…"

"Right…" A high pitched shriek, followed by an appreciative groan, "…there."

"Brilliant!"

George pressed a fist into his mouth to muffle a spurt of laughter that forced its way out in response to Ron's obvious 'triumph'. Gently tugging the extendible ear out from its resting place under the door, he pulled out his wand and performed the spell to stop its recording feature. He raised his hand to knock on the door to congratulate his little brother on a 'job well done' when a harsh, angry whisper stopped him in his tracks.

"George Fabian Weasley, what on Earth have you been _doing_?"

George spun around and came face to face with his irate girlfriend. "Er…using the loo?"

"I've been standing here for over five minutes watching," Angelina replied, folding her arms across her chest. "I became concerned when you didn't open the shop on time and came up to check on you. If I had known it was because you were spying on your brother in the bathroom, I wouldn't have bothered."

"It's not like that at all."

She glared at the tiny device in his hand.

He hastily shoved the extendible ear in his pocket. "Ron knows about us," he blurted, changing the subject. "I needed something to blackmail— er…I mean convince him not to blab to Mum."

Angelina shrugged. "Is that such a bad thing?" she asked, softly. "You know, telling your family."

George made his way over to her. "'Course it isn't. I love you, Angie." He sighed. "I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around them." He paused. "Because of Fred."

"We dated briefly, more than three years ago," she told him. "And while I cared for him a great deal, it's not the same as how I feel for you now. " She shook her head. "We can't hide from them forever. And if they really have a problem, then it's better that they know now, so--"

"Hey," he cut in, cupping her cheek in his hand, "I don't need my family's approval when it comes to loving you, okay? You're worrying over nothing."

"But what if they think that I'm with you because you look like him?"

George pulled her into a hug. "Ange, we've been friends for years and I know you wouldn't do that. I _know_ you wouldn't. You and I have something good together, yeah?"

Angelina slowly nodded in agreement.

"Come on, then," he said, pulling at her hand as he headed for the stairs. "The customers can wait a few minutes longer."

"Where are we going?"

"The Burrow," he replied. "There's no point in sitting around and waiting for someone else to notice. Apparently I go around all day with this embarrassingly goofy expression."

Angelina grinned. "You do."

"What?"

"I, for one, think it's quite adorable."

George rolled his eyes. "Well okay then. As long you still find me devastatingly handsome."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, George." She stopped and held out her hand. "Now give."

"Give?" She pointed to his robes and George sighed, before he reluctantly reached inside and handed her the extendible ear.

"Would you really have shown this to your parents?" She inquired, as they made their way through the shop towards the fireplace in the back office. "I know you like your pranks, but this is positively mortifying. And poor Hermione, I can't believe you'd subject her to that sort of embarrassment."

"Nah," George replied, waving a hand dismissively. "Not even I would want people to know how inept my little brother is at shagging. I mean there is the Weasley reputation to uphold."

"Weasley reputation?"

George grinned. "Oh yeah. We're gifted in the bedroom," he explained, reaching for a handful of floo powder. "Don't deny it…you've said it yourself. Poor ickle Ronniekins must have been skipped over in that department; Percy, too."

Angelina grabbed onto his robes as they stepped onto the grate. "That's a horrible thing to say."

"It's true," George replied. "They were about to call me in to help." He threw the powder down. "The Burrow!"

As the couple disappeared in a flash of green flames, Angelina's shocked response echoed throughout the building.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Ron asked, looking towards the closed bathroom door.

"I heard _something_," Hermione answered, wrapping a towel around her body. "Not sure what though."

"Hmm." Ron opened the door and peeked outside. "George?" He waited a moment before closing it once more. He shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know. He must already be down at the shop."

"Thank goodness we didn't need him then," Hermione said, running her fingers through her hair, unsuccessfully attempting to untangle the damp, bushy curls.

"Speaking of," Ron said, exiting the bathroom and crossing the hallway to his bedroom, "how are you feeling?"

"A bit sore," Hermione admitted, following him into the room and closing the door behind them. She walked over to the dresser, where she had set her clean clothes out earlier, and started to dress. "I can go without _that_ ever happening again."

Ron grinned. "I can't help it if I drive you wild when we shag," he said, smugly. "Us Weasleys have a reputation to uphold."

Hermione snorted. "Ron, _you_ were the one who kicked the stopper in the tub loose."

"Yeah, but you got _your _toe stuck in the drain."


End file.
